July 23rd (Weds)

A has the first test of the day, so I am picking him up before 8, and in the morning traffic we don't have much to so other than fill up with petrol and drive to the centre. As he goes out, with F this time, Malc is on the phone for cash for a tyre. Plus ca change!

I can't believe A will make another mistake, but nothing is certain with tests. I wander up for a coffee, buy the Indie, and pace around, waiting for his return on the wall outside. He rolls confidently into the centre, and at once I see him reaching for his docs. As it should be. Annoyingly he has 2 faults, equalling my best, but they are for obs on his manoeuvres, so he really was in touching distance of the perfect drive I told him he was capable of. It'd have been especially nice as his dad is an instructor in Swindon and would have been good to send him a son with a zero.

I drive him home and he presents me with a bottle of wine as a thank you. Good lad. He'll be ok!

And so to the end of an era. Our beautiful youngest daughter has her last day at school, and we have the beautiful ordeal of the leaving service to endure, trying not to shed a tear in public.

I have been through this twice before, but this time there is the added poignancy as today our association with this wonderful, happy, Oasis of learning ends as Emsy takes this irrevocable step away from her childhood.

It follows was a familiar format. Small groups of children make their way to the pulpit and recall their happy, naughty, scary, and cheeky memories of their times there, from the beginning as little more than awe struck toddlers, to the elder statesmen of the school they are now.

What always comes through is the great affection the kids have for the school, for each other, and for their teachers. GCKS has been a vital part in moulding them into the happy confident kids they reveal themselves to be.

They recount their days from year zero to the present day, reminding us of school plays and sports days and trips they ventured out on which I was only vaguely aware of and now wish I had shared with them more fully. You can't have something like this without a tinge of guilt.
With so many things like this you want them to hurry up so you can get back to the rest of life, to internet perving, or pointless work, whatever, but today I feel the event rushing past and away from me.
BP is leaving, adding further emotion. They finish not with a hymn but "Turn Turn Turn"
To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven
A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones
A time to gather stones together

To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven

A time of war, a time of peace
A time of love, a time of hate
A time you may embrace
A time to refrain from embracing

To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven
A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time of peace, I swear it's not too late!

To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven

A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones
A time to gather stones together

To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven
A time of war, a time of peace
A time of love, a time of hate
A time you may embrace
A time to refrain from embracing

To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven
A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time of peace,
I swear it's not too late!

I am not sure which of these verses their small voices sing, but as the refrain drifts high into the roof I think back to the three of them chubby legged on their first days, their happiness and tears, their little red cardigans, the pink summer dresses, and I want to live every day of it all over again, only this time realise that they are the real worthwhile product of our lives, and savour every moment to the full, uncluttered in my mind with the dross we imagine important.
RD gives the last address of his that I shall ever hear, and the tears are building up in the corner of my eyes. Surreptitious drags of the finger suffice at first, but the uprising is too much and the hankie must come out as the snot builds up in my nose.
RD picks his words with kindness and precision, showing genuine regret for their leaving, yet obvious pride for his part in their forming into adults to be.
I glance at Sophie who has come too, a wonderful young woman who no one could fail to proud of. Emma has it in her to do as well, though of course will head in a different direction. I just hope they all stay close and continue to love each other wherever life takes them.
The kids file out in the orderly fashion they do, many of them in floods of tears, including F who accompanies an oh so Jolly Emsy.
I rush outside to film the cortege of red white and grey as they form a crocodile.
I hug H and Sophie, unashamed of my emotion. Eventually I guide the car safely by, go out onto the road and to the roundabout. I turn around and head past them as the whole school makes their way up towards their little school. And now we are no longer part of it. I can't stop the tears, and they still keep coming as I type this.
A cup of tea. some thoughts , some composure. Back to the mundane. What to do about T?
Rationality. What is he doing wrong? What must he do to put it right. He is far brighter than yesterday, and accepts everything I say. the contrast with Miss Gobby couldn't be more striking. we drive into town, he takes everything on board, and drives like an angel.
Can he take his test? If he drives like that there is no reason he couldn't emulate A.
He is genuinely grateful and I stop and buy us both an ice cream. apparently there was more to yesterday than meets the eye.
His dad, who he clearly loved dearly seems to have left problems behind. Things are coming to light of which the family had no idea of. Court cases alleging malpractice as far as I can tell, and I think it is proving very painful for him. Dad's not there to answer the questions he must want to put. Poor lad. I am so glad he has done so well today. I hope he passes, but he must realise that he has to drive like this the whole time, especially when he has his younger siblings under his wing.
No one is home. Apparently the after service picnic went on longer than anticipated, i am annoyed as had I known I would have gone. But there, wasn't that always the way.
A sad day in many ways, but one which is the beginning of a bright new future to our family which is changing rapidly in dynamic.
Night night Emsy